Letting go of the precioussss

In the Lord of the Rings, Frodo is tasked with the burden of disposing the One Ring in the fiery dustbin of the volcano Orodruin (Mount Doom). He nearly succeeds, but in his moment of near-failure (the temptation of the ring has grown too great) Gollum appears as the unlikely saviour of Middle-Earth's fortunes. A twist, perhaps - it just goes to show how the unexpected happens in daily life - something you do (or don't do, for that matter) can come up and bite you in the hiney several years later...for good or bad...what goes around, generally, comes around. A rather blase way to look at horrid situations, but I suppose it's a way around them.

I managed to get the heater working again....awful pilot light keeps getting blown out by drafts and cold weather. Alas, that bright spark in our lives seems to be extinguished just as often....

Tomorrow is a new day; birds will sing in the frost before dying from hypothermia, the sun will scorn the earth leaving icy roads to treacherously befoul unwary pedestrians and cold winds will blow. Indeed, tomorrow shall come. The start of a new week that promises to creep ever closer to the abysmal horror of examination hell.

What does one have to look forward to? Meaningless, meaningless! All life is meaningless! We may toil and labour but we only prolong the inevitable scythe that (oddly enough) shall relieve us of our wearisome burdens. Nothing matters; everything is passing; purpose is ill-defined. We lose what we love, we gain naught but troubles and the fleeting thoughts of what might have been. So much for my earlier attempts at openness and optimism.

I may presume that I am one hundred million times luckier than so many other people - what loss have I experienced compared to the hunger, famine, death and suffering of billions? All I do is complain. Perhaps I may (although I know I may not) be excused for crying out in desperation at the loss of the perfection I so keenly desired.
A young boy once thought that if he always tried his best (except when forced to do chin-ups - which he has tried to correct ever since!) at home, with friends and in school, said his prayers, tried to be as nice as he could, chastised himself when mistakes were pointed out, tried to like animals (despite a mortal fear of bites and scratches), tried to be polite and - basically - TRIED his best and tried to try harder when that best wasn't quite enough - that young boy thought that the world, despite being a big mean tough place would be less harsh when clobbering him like it does to everyone else. That young boy seems to have been blessed indeed - he at least has blessings to count. His problem is that nothing is ever enough (expectations delude). His other problem is that nothing really lived up to what he hoped for; disappointment brought with it regret and the young boy learned that it doesn't matter how hard you try; you will be hurt anyway. So the young boy lost some faith and some hope and some trust in his cherished ideals and beliefs; it nearly tore him in two as he tried to find his way in the world, attempting to keep one hand clinging firmly to those aspirations nurtured in bygone days of a happy childhood whilst the loss of innocence ate away at the heart of treasure he once loved. It is a ransom - one that has been paid sorrowfully at a high price. I hope that young boy does not one day wake up to find himself an old man whose hoard of principles has been squandered in vain attempts chasing after unreachable goals.

So - with all this pessimistic claptrap - why do we plod onwards? Duty? Desire? Destiny? Devotion? Dedication? All of the above. To what cause? For a reason that is higher than what we can possibly imagine; for the near-impossible hope and belief that hope itself can bring with it a tomorrow that might one day be immeasurably better than the dregs of today. Loss and suffering may prick our sides until we bleed and weep but by never surrendering we have already won the greatest victory of all - our lives are in God's hands and it is for us to obey. Per aspera ad astra!