From the sulci to the gyri

I've just watched 'The Woman in White' musical....enjoyed it immensely.
"Whenever I look at you the world disappears; all in a single glance so revealing. I believe my heart, what else can I do? I believe my heart there's no other choice...and with all my soul I believe my heart." Somewhat sentimental, I know.
I'm utterly amazed by the site counter statistics - 21 people visited my blog yesterday. Incredible! They might be one-hitters, but I'm thrilled nonetheless.
Crepes in Hampstead tomorrow. Delicious......
Less than a week before Valentine's now. Perhaps I might get lucky. You never know...

Now for those inevitable (extremely) randomly-spiralling thoughts.
The stress is slowly mounting as examinations draw nearer. No silly talk this year (see the earliest few posts) of gory battles and moonlit sojourns across dreary plains of revision. This is one time I shall remember to enjoy what I'm actually learning. Just taking the bus can make me so aware of how easily I despair of humanity - a bunch of useless, heartless, calculating wretches. In that instant one tends to forget that one is counted in that morass of greed, sloth, pride and disgusting banality. It's so very easy to forget the essence of being; the eternal hope of the Almighty himself is reflected in each of us - kindred spirits, somehow. It doesn't sound 'streetwise' or even completely sane, but innocence and the willingness to trust is a greater virtue than most would care to consider. I make hammed-up presumptions on the human condition, ranting about how depraved we are. My latest posts have been chock-full of blatant self-immolating gushy anti-self invective, e.g. 'I want to be more idealistic' and 'I'm not totally honest with myself' etc. Assuming this isn't just a ploy for readership/sympathy, I just want to shift the direction towards the 'small happy' things. We have to see what is good in others, something I too often fail to bother to do. I can confidently say that we have to retain a measure of hope - it just doesn't die. Use it as a mirror to cast some light on the good and happy things; those memories tingled with regret, those bittersweet reflections on that dim past that is really so very vivid we have to blur it just to be able to comprehend how much we long for the chance to change or re-live it - don't process those memories like a meat-grinder, Jason - just look, listen and learn - do whatever you do with more passion than you can muster and that joy will agglutinate into solid lumps of sweetness that you can taste forever. I've managed to somehow acquire a taste for the bittersweet - "xian ku, hou tian" as we say in Chinese (first bitter, then sweet) - it's time to start chewing the toffee-apples with the kimchi and pickled gherkins!

Oh yes - Happy Chinese New Year! The Year of the Wood Rooster, I believe. Hurrah for the hen-houses...